Ever feel like you’re running on empty—not because you’re doing too much physically, but because you’re constantly trying to manage everyone else’s emotions? You might be in fawn mode. And no, that’s not a cute woodland creature thing (although… kinda is). The fawn response is a lesser-known stress reaction—right alongside fight, flight, and freeze. It’s what happens when we instinctively try to keep the peace by people-pleasing. Think: saying “yes” when you’re screaming “no” inside, feeling like it’s your job to solve everyone’s problems, or walking on emotional eggshells to avoid rocking the boat. It’s exhausting, right? So What Exactly Is the Fawn Response? It’s a survival strategy—one your nervous system learned during times of chronic stress, especially if you grew up in an environment where conflict felt unsafe. Instead of confronting or fleeing a stressful situation, you learned to placate—to make yourself likable, agreeable, and undemanding as a way to stay safe. Translation: you became really, really good at reading the room… and totally ignoring yourself. Signs You Might Be in Fawn Mode: • You struggle to say no or set clear boundaries. • You feel responsible for how others feel (even when you logically know it’s not your job). • You squash your own needs to keep things smooth. • You feel wiped out by all the emotional labour of people-pleasing. • You dread disappointing anyone—even a little. Sound familiar? Fawning, Stress & Inflammation: What’s the Link? Here’s where it gets really interesting for us health nerds: chronic fawning = chronic stress. And chronic stress? It’s a big ol’ inflammation trigger. When you’re constantly on high alert, trying to manage others’ feelings or avoid conflict, your body never really shuts off its stress response. This can suppress immune function, disrupt sleep, hijack hormones, and increase systemic inflammation. Basically, it wears you out from the inside out. Shifting Out of Fawn Mode (Without Becoming a Jerk) The goal isn’t to become hard or harsh. It’s to bring you back into the picture. Here’s how: 1. Start tiny with boundaries. Not everything needs a dramatic “no.” Try micro-boundaries like: “I need to check my schedule first,” or “Can I get back to you?” It buys you time—and builds confidence. 2. Ask yourself what you want. It’s wild how disconnected we can get from our own desires when we’re always tuned into other people’s needs. Start asking: What do I need right now? What would make me feel good—just for me? 3. Practice self-care without a performance review. Do something just because it feels good. Not because it’s productive. Not because it’ll get likes. Not because someone told you to. Because you want to. That’s enough. ⸻ Fawning might’ve helped you survive. But it’s not the only way to live. Start listening to yourself like you’ve always listened to others. That’s when healing—and genuine health—really begins. Read More